


Derek, No, It's Too Big

by LaBelleetlaloup



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Always Female Stiles Stilinski, Fem!Stiles - Freeform, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3857797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaBelleetlaloup/pseuds/LaBelleetlaloup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is based on a quote from a photoset one of my friends sent to my cell, so I don’t have a link for it. But it was the Lydia/Allison scene about the twins and she wanted the straight one featuring Stiles twins, and the gay one was saying the first line in the story. I was trying to figure how a cop’s kid would think it was a good idea to talk about statutory in the middle of high school. So this came about, because the quote couldn’t actually be about sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Derek, No, It's Too Big

“Yeah, so I was like Derek, no; it’s too big,” Stiles related, rolling her eyes. Jackson chuckled, rolling his eyes in sympathy.

“Let me guess, he didn’t believe you?”

“No, he was all, Imma make it fit.” Stiles scoffed. Jackson broke down laughing, sprawled across the table. Stiles broke into giggles herself. Greenberg sat down beside Stiles.

“Who’s Derek?” he asked. They both immediately stopped laughing.

“Go away Greenberg,” Stiles snarled.

“Fuck off,” Jackson agreed, leaning threateningly across the table.

“Derek who? Just a question,” Greenberg repeated.

“Derek Hale,” Stiles answered. It wasn’t worth the fight.

“You’re dating that guy? He looks like a serial killer.”

“Who said she was dating him?” Jackson demanded in a low growl.

“She was talking about sleeping with him,” Greenberg replied.

“No, I was talking about the sofa he wanted to stuff into his Camaro,” Stiles snapped irritably. Greenberg frowned.

“Fuck off, Greenberg,” Jackson growled. Stiles put a hand on his arm, knowing he was only a tiny push away from glowing eyes and fangs. Greenberg glanced around and saw the teachers were all at the far end of the courtyard. He wisely backed off.

“Seems he’s learned not to mess with you,” Stiles murmured. Jackson smirked as he nodded.

“My eyes aren’t glowing, are they?”

“No, you’re good.”

“Alright, so Derek thought he was going to stuff a sofa in the backseat of the Camaro and…” Jackson prompted.

“He tried. It did not work. We called Peter and tied it to the top of his sedan. Derek punched the dents he’d put in the Camaro back out while we waited. I may have gloated a little.”

“Just a little,” Jackson rolled his eyes. “You still haven’t let him hear the end of it, have you?”

“You know me too well,” Stiles giggled.

 

 

Bonus:

“Derek, this is not porn. I am not telling you it’s too big and not going to fit for your personal amusement. That is a sofa.”

“What.” Derek turned around, dropping the sofa. The passenger seat made a concerning creaking noise. Derek looked torn between horror and laughing and dying of embarrassment.

“You heard me.” Stiles rolled her eyes. “Honestly, can we please call Peter? I’m getting imprints on my hands from the sidewalk, I have been sitting here too long.”

“It’ll fit. Maybe if I just…” Derek trailed off as he picked the couch back up, trying to twist it.

“You have dents in your sister’s car.” Stiles pointed out irritably. Derek dropped the sofa with a crash and stared with wide eyes at the car.

“Call Peter.”


End file.
